Today's diversion comes straight from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants," by David Pilkey: The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names. Try it out for yourself. It's great fun around the office. Here is how.

   Use the first letter of your first name to determine your NEW first name:
a =stinky
b = lumpy
c = buttercup
d = gidget
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = fluffy
h = cheeseball
i = chim-chim
j = poopsie
k = flunky
l = booger
m = pinky
n = zippy
o = goober
p = doofus
q = slimy
r = loopy
s = snotty
t = falafel
u = dorkey
v = squeezit
w = oprah
x = skipper
y = dinky
z = zsa-zsa

Use the first letter of your last name to determine the first half of your NEW last name:

a = diaper
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = bubble
e = girdle
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = cootie
j = monkey
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = burger
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = chicken
v = pickle
w = chuckle
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = stinker

Use the last letter of your last name to determine the second half of your NEW last name:

a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = nose
e = tush
f =breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = tushie
n = chunks
o = hiney
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x =humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice Thus, for example, George Bush's new name is Fluffy Toiletshorts. Go figure. :)